With donuts in hand, I walked into a meeting prepared to collaborate with my client on their high level strategic communications plan for the upcoming year. After 15 minutes of laughing and catching up with — let’s call him Larry — I was ready to dive in.
Me: “So next year! I’m excited to talk about themes and have prepped a skeleton plan for your review.”
Larry: “That sounds great. Before we do that, Shelia [the owner] told me she isn’t really happy with the newsletters.”
Me: “Oh, why is that? We can pivot and adjust whatever seems out of alignment.”
Larry: “Your work has been so great and I don’t want you to think we’re unhappy with it. I think Sheila is just feeling a bit uneasy about the direction of the newsletter. And the Facebook posts too.”
Me: “OK…what is her concern so that we can adjust?”
Larry: “This month’s content is almost finished and next year’s work can be tabled for now. The website needs a refresh in January. I’ll reach out. That’s a high priority next year.”
Me: “Yes, of course. Is there anything I can do to help at the moment?”
Larry: “Nope, we’re all set.”
What in the world just happened? I awkwardly left that meeting feeling really confused and embarrassed, but had no idea why. I had received nothing but positive feedback from the owner for over six months until that very passive, vague meeting. As I rehashed the conversation to my husband later that day, it slowly began to dawn on me…I think they just fired me!
Great leaders don’t hide behind a shield of passivity.
I finished up the work for that month with no direction. The passive language used during that meeting cost the company time and money, wasting an entire month’s worth of work that could have been used to sharpen and tighten their focus.
The problem is, being direct is difficult and uncomfortable. Larry didn’t want to be the bad guy so he held up a shield of passivity. By saying "Sheila is feeling uneasy" and "The work is being tabled," he removed himself from the situation, choosing to create a foggy mess instead.
When a leader is passive, the team stops working and starts decoding. They spend their lunch breaks and their evenings trying to figure out what you actually meant. That equates to hours of lost productivity and a massive spike in unnecessary anxiety for your people.
Larry could have said, "Sheila decided to take the writing in-house," or "We’ve run out of budget for this quarter," or even “What we’ve tried so far doesn’t align with our new goals”.
When we hide behind passive language—whether in a meeting, an email, memo, or quick slack message—we think we’re being nice. In reality, we’re being unclear. And I guarantee the people on the other side of your message are sweatin’ what your message actually means. Vagueness is the enemy of leadership.
Today’s micro-lesson is this: Avoiding passive language protects your company’s momentum.
If you want people to follow you — to lead them well through your written communication — they have to be able to find a “Doer,” or “Actor,” in each sentence. This is the difference between passive voice and active voice.
Passive: "A decision was made to pause the contract." (By who? A ghost? An algorithm? My aunt Cheryl?)
Active: "I decided to pause the contract." (No ambiguity — clear, direct, respectful. YOU did something that affects them.)
If you aren’t sure if you are using active or passive voice, try the zombie test. If you can add the phrase "by zombies" after the verb, it’s passive.
"A decision was made [by zombies] to pause the contract." — Passive.
"Sheila didn't like the newsletters." — Active. (Sheila is the one to blame on this one, not the zombies.)
This matters because when you use an active voice, you reclaim three things:
Trust: Your team knows exactly where you stand. No one has to waste time decoding what you really mean.
Speed: Active sentences are shorter. They cut through the fog effectively and efficiently, allowing your team to pivot and execute rather than guess and fret.
Accountability: An active voice proves there is a real person taking responsibility. You can’t hold a team accountable to a decision that was made [by zombies]; you can only hold them accountable to a clear directive.
Put it into practice: Go find the last difficult slack message, email, memo, etc. you wrote: a correction, a change in plans, a critique. Were you holding up your shield of passivity or did you use active language? (If you need help identifying passive voice, use this cool Passive Voice Detector - with a built in zombie test!)
If you were passive, take a stab at rewriting it. And if you’re brave enough, resend it with a note that you are trying to use a more active voice for clarity. Then keep your eyeballs peeled and see how differently it lands with your peeps.
How’d it go? Did you have to kick some zombies out of your sentences? I’d love to help you make leadership an active verb. Snag 30-minutes on my calendar and let’s chat about how you can lead well, even when you aren’t in the room.
(For the record: I’m proud to say I’ve never had a client end a contract with me over the quality of my work, including in this example!)
P.S. Random Things I’m Loving This Week
Leech Writing: Writing Tracker app built by Sam Sullins. If you write books (or really any long-form content) this app tracks writing time and word count. It's a simple tool but effective to keep you focused and motivated to keep writing.
I made this sourdough discard garlic pull apart bread for a group of 18 people last week. No leftovers!
This Passive Voice Detector is really cool (in case you missed the link above) and I love that you can click a button to complete the zombie test.
My first spring flowers are blooming — it’s one of the most exciting times of the year for this gal who looooves flowers and nature.
