A few weeks ago, I hunkered down in a Starbucks while my son had soccer practice so I could wrap up a project. The barista was nice and answered my it’s-obvious-I-never-go-to-Starbucks questions with a smile. I ordered a mango dragonfruit refresher and blueberry muffin, then grabbed a table while I waited for my name to be called.
They pronounced my name correctly (Kristina), but when I read the label they slapped carelessly on the side of my drink, it was spelled wrong (Christina).
At this point in my life, I’m used to it. I get ALL sorts of variations — Krista, Kristy, Christine, Christin…sometimes even the occasional Crystal. Even though my name is spelled out in my email address, people still spell my name wrong when emailing me.
I sat down with my order and opened my laptop. As I worked, every time I reached for my drink I saw my misspelled name. After about a dozen sips, I sat the ice cold drink down and stared at it.
Why couldn’t she have just asked how to spell my name?
It’s something so small — costing no money and only 5 seconds of time — yet would have made a big difference in my experience. When people ask how to spell my name, I ALWAYS say thank you for asking. It shows they care.
In our rush to be fast, automated, and hyper-efficient, we are slapping careless labels on our communication and wondering why our people feel like just another number in line.
Which is exactly why you need to meet Frank Ziede.
I first met Frank when I was a wee, fresh-out-of-college 22-year-old. We worked together for five years, and I can tell you firsthand: he is pretty much the best professional training facilitator out there. He has spent the last two decades helping organizations across the globe engage their customers and employees for high impact and success.
I asked Frank to join me for this issue because he understands that leaders have to stop trading care for efficiency or they are going to lose the impact they so desire. He just launched his new book — The Lost Art of Giving a $#!+: Why Caring About Customers Pays Off — which sums up this issue’s micro-lesson nicely:
Showing you genuinely care in your written communication pays off, big time.
When I sat down with Frank, he pointed out a dangerous phrase running rampant through corporate leadership teams right now. When he asks executives what they are actively doing to build deep, authentic relationships with their people, the answer almost always begins: "we used to..."
We used to write personal notes.
We used to do tailored outreach.
We used to check in on people just to see how they were doing.
Then, we bought a CRM…or we discovered automated email sequences…or we started relying on AI to churn out perfectly polite internal updates in four seconds flat.
“There are many people who feel the bottom line is the most important thing. Selling the product, this widget, whatever it may be, is the most important thing. It's not. It is the result of what we do. And what we do is we work together with other people, we work together with customers, we work together with vendors and suppliers, and we build relationships. Those relationships become trusted and valuable. And if we do all of those things correctly, we get to a place where the result is an efficient company that successfully sells a product, that builds loyalty, that doesn't think of just one customer or one purchase at a time.”
The immediate, panicky pushback from busy leaders is always: "But Frank and Kristina, I have hundreds of employees and clients. Deep personalization doesn't scale! I don't have the time to show that I care on the level you are talking about."
Take a deep breath…and STOP TRYING TO SCALE IT.
You don't need to do this for 100% of the people, 100% of the time. (Unless it’s pronouncing and spelling someone’s name right, that is always a 100%-of-the-time task.) To break the corporate mold and leave a lasting human impression, focus on 10% of your people, 10% of the time.
This matters because not everyone in your ecosystem values deep connection, and that’s fine. But for the 10% who do — the key team members pulling extra weight, the high-value partners, the clients looking for a real relationship — that extra touch is an absolute game-changer. It will boost company/team morale, build confidence in individuals, and support your bottom line by making the people you work with happy lil’ larks.
In the video clip above, Frank shares the story of Jim Donald, the legendary former CEO of Starbucks, Albertsons, and Nordstrom. Throughout his career, Jim hand-wrote 40,000 thank-you cards — FORTY THOUSAND!!! Not to customers, but exclusively to his internal staff and employees. He knew that care belongs first and foremost inside a company's culture. If it starts there, it will naturally trickle down into customers. And if this high-powered CEO found the time and care to do something so meaningful, we can too.
Put it into practice. Here are a few things you can do this week to show genuine care for your people:
Buy a pack of inexpensive thank you cards and write one to a colleague. Just one. Start small, but write from the heart. And for the love of Pete, spell their name correctly!
Dedicate the first two sentences of the next message you write to establishing an authentic connection with the reader instead of opening with a dry, bulleted checklist of tasks or corporate directives. Acknowledge how intense the sprint has been, call out a specific individual's quiet win, or express real gratitude for the focus you’ve noticed.
If you use standardized templates for recurring updates, break the automated flow. Force yourself to leave a blank space at the very bottom to insert one highly specific, customized sentence acknowledging your recipient. Use that space to explicitly communicate: "I see you. I recognize your specific effort."
How’d it go? To whom will you send a thank you note this week? How did they respond to the care you showed?
I want to hear about the human fingerprints you are leaving on your work. Please let me know how it’s going! (I promise I’ll reply AND spell your name correctly.)
And if you want to support a leader who truly walks the talk, go grab a copy of Frank Ziede's brand new book today: The Lost Art of Giving a $#!+: Why Caring About Customers Pays Off (also available on Barnes & Noble, Walmart, and Bookshop) and give him a follow on LinkedIn. You won’t regret it!
P.S. Random Things I’m Loving This Week
(These are not sponsors or affiliate links… just things I genuinely enjoy and want to share!)
Podio — I applied for a volunteer position that used this platform for the application and it’s the first time I’ve not hated the experience of applying to something. It was SO easy, auto saved my work, and even tracked my daily activity. Once I clicked submit, within seconds my references were emailed a questionnaire. Efficient and user friendly.
Kitchenaid Shaved Ice Attachment — To celebrate the last day of school for my kiddos, I bought this attachment for my beloved Stand Mixer. Easy. Delicious. I control the ingredients. And a kid-approved way to kick off summer.
VoyageOhio Spotlight — I was interviewed by VoyageOhio as a hidden local gem in Ohio…I wonder if I am the first person to be quoted saying DAGGONIT in a magazine. LOL If you want to know more about my backstory, check it out!
Garden-Fresh Lettuce — OK, I actually don’t like lettuce very much. But a spring mix is growing in my garden and somethin’ about harvesting my own lettuce one minute before eating the leafy greens makes salads way more acceptable to my picky palate. (Also sprouting in the bed pictured below: tomatoes, marigolds, radishes, carrots, corn, green beans, cucumbers, and squash!)
